Life Revisited
by snapsforsnape
Summary: He is a man wrought with pain, unimaginable tormet, and a monstrous secret. To what extent is Dumbledore willing to go to aid his spy and whom is he willing to sacrifice in the process?
1. Chapter 1

_Long have I suffered, but never have I endured suffering such as this…_

Rumours spread wide throughout Hogwart's grounds. Whispers turned a student from eagerly grinning to momentarily horrified. They grew to such a caliber that the vast landscape of the castle became deserted- even on the most picturesque day.

The source of the speculation went unkown, for the rumours were soon too rampant to perform any damage control.

And despite these claims and wild reports, I stepped foot outside. The student body may be occupied with tales of demons and monsters circling the castle, but in my service to the Dark Lord I had already encountered much worse.

Furthermore, the potion's cabinet was in dire need of supplies and with Poppy and Voldemort both demanding complicated substances, I could see no other option.

Besides Dumbledore and perhaps the fearless Boy-Who-Wouldn't-Die, I remained the only being willing to walk the grounds.

And what a mistake that was.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: New chapter up! Let me know what you think. I actually know where this fic is going this time ; )

My eyes darted left and right as I walked the beaten path towards the Forbidden Forrest. It was foolish to wander out here at night. Especially with the recent rumours running amok. As a precaution my fingers were wrapped tightly around my wand, ready should anything strike.

Hesitantly I leaned down, intent on procuring the ginger root needed for tomorrow's fifth year class. My trip out here only called for ingredients usually found on the outskirts of the forest. A fortunate thing too, for beasts have always been a fear of mine- none would be lurking this close to the castle.

Still though, a feeling I couldn't quite place dwelled deep within my stomach-a feeling of apprehension and perhaps dread.

All at once, the many noises of the forest ceased and silence abruptly fell. I quickly stood upright and brandished my wand in front of me. The absence of sound confirmed my suspicions- something was undoubtedly wrong.

My eyes sought out every crevice of the forest, reaching into the shadow's depths, yet my search yielded nothing.

An odor so unlike anything I'd smelt before pervaded the air. A stink of putrefaction.

It was then I felt a pair of skeletal hands grip my shoulders. The skin appeared stretched over the bone creating an almost translucent effect.

Slowly I turned around, a scathing comment on the tip of my tongue.

That remark slipped away as I looked at the man before me. He was elegantly dressed in a finely tailored suite and a silken necktie. As my eyes surveyed his figure, I noted his pinched features and aquiline nose.

"State your business." I said, still holding my wand out.

"I know your Dark Lord." The man said with his head titled to the side, a disturbing gleam present in his eyes.

Curious I thought…Voldemort was everyone's Dark Lord. How was this man exempt from his reign?

"The doesn't answer my question."

"He and I have been trying to make an accord."

"Kindly see me when I am not on Albus Dumbledore's grounds."

"I have been waiting for weeks. You seem to never leave that castle." He indicated towards the school with a nod of his head.

"What can I say," I replied, "I'm a busy man."

The man grinned and folded his arms against his chest.

At seeing him contemplate what to say next, I took advantage of the moment.

"The Dark Lord prefers requests to be direct. I am a middleman and therefore of no significance to you."

"You are mistaken my friend-"

I cut him off, "We aren't acquaintances, much less friends. You haven't even told me your name."

"Right" He said silkily before continuing, "I am need of a favour-one the Dark Lord has rejected to fulfill."

"It would be wise to heed his wishes."

"But you see" he brought his hand up to his chin, "it is absolutely essential this favour be granted."

"I have no intentions of helping you. Now, if you'll excuse me-"

I made haste to step around him but he slid to the left and blocked my leaving.

"Not so fast." Every syllable was clearly enunciated.

I took my wand and place it directly in-between the man's eyes. I only obeyed two people and this man was neither Albus Dumbledore nor the Dark Lord.

"I suggest you step aside" I growled, leaning in close.

His eyes narrowed and then flashed, taking on a violet hue.

The tables turned and I found myself on the ground with the man, who I still could not attach a name to, towering above me.

"Why you-" I shouted

"No, no, no" He waggled his finger as I tried to get up.

He acted like a child, like this was a game.

And as he stood over me, the shadows cast him in a frightening light. His cheeks looked sunken and his eyes sickly. The skin appeared ruddy as if the blood in his veins remained stagnant for too long.

A horrible thought dawned on me.

"You're not human." I managed to get out despite my increasing fear.

"Depends on how you look at it." He responded with an irritating grin that did not bode well for my safety.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I will definitely have to up the rating on this. Every chapter I've written has been while watching BBC's series _Being Human_, hence some of the graphic descriptions…Now they aren't too graphic, just more twisted than one might expect. With that said, please enjoy! If you wish to stay updated on my writings, please visit my blog: blog394 . tumblr . com/ You just need to take out the spaces. I post sneak peaks, pictures, trailers, and other miscellaneous bits on this site.

I disregarded any former composition and instead settled for scurrying backwards. The dirt marring my hands and tarnishing my black robes.

"State your name!" I demanded.

The man slowly closed his eyes and inhaled. "Desmond."

It rolled off his tongue like liquid silver as he exaled in a puff of cool air.

He raised his arms and walked towards me, sauntering and swaying with an aristocratic air.

"Now," a pause, "is that all you needed to know?"

There it was. That grin that made me shudder; Those glittering eyes that instilled a primal sense of self-preservation.

"And what of your purpose?" I said while placing a hand on my knee in attempts to get up.

"I have already told you that!" His eyes flashed and I saw his hands clench by his sides. Impatience was written all over his sharp features that appeared more and more sickly by the minute.

Desmond shook out his shoulders, "My, my, my. The Dark Lord's standards have fallen if he sees you as his most valuable."

A wicked laugh escaped the mans's frightfully red lips.

Finally, I stood up. "If he will not grant you your request, than consider yourself below me. He is most gracious with my petitions."

I quirked an eyebrow indicating to him that I had superiority.

That clearly hit a nerve. Desmond lunged at me, pinning me to a nearby tree with unfathomable strength.

He breathed in deeply, placing his ear by my beating heart before hissing in my ear.

"Do not suggest you are better than me! I can assure you that is not the case."

I could feel his humid breath against my cheeck.

"Vampire" I whispered, head lolling against the tree as my airway became more restricted, "Filthy creatures…inferior." I spat in his face.

He released me, but only to wipe the spittle off his chin for he was at my neck in a second's time. I could not lift his weight off me. I could not shield my neck from his intent gaze. I could not even reach my wand to signal for help.

He pinned my hands down at my side and placed a forceful hand at my chest.

In a slow, methodic motion he licked his lips and I could see them moisten.

I closed my eyes, not believing that after all the years in the Dark Lord's service, I would be the one to achieve immortality.

My muscles trembled at Desmond's putrid breath, hot and oppresive as he spoke into my ear.

"In case you were wondering…The Dark Lord refused to let me feed on his most precious advisor."

"Why..why me?" I rasped.

"You have knowledge. I thirst for knowledge."

In a mock gesture of a lover, he brushed a lock of hair away from my eyes and kissed my forehead. Then his finges trailed to my neck and he began to caress the skin.

I saw his head lower to my throat- his black hair graze my jawline.

I felt two foreign objects peirce my jugular and I tried to scream, I tried to bellow, but nothing came out.

A rush of emotions overwhelmed my senses. I could not feel, I could not think, I could not process what was being done to me.

All I knew was the sound of Desmond imbiding my blood and the sight of my life force smearing itself across the man's lips as he came up for air.

A/N Whoooaa! Next chapter we will see Desmond finishing what he set out to do…


	4. Signing in Blood

A/N: Dedicated to a very dear friend. She will likely recognize the timeliness of this piece…for I am not good with updating.

As a side note: I met Alan Rickman not too long ago. Eep!

Enjoy. Any reviews will prompt me to update faster.

"How does this feel Severus?"

The loss of blood dulled my senses. Anything said came to my ears muddled and distorted.

Dissatisfied by my lack of reaction, Desmond grasped my hair and growled in my ear,

"Do you feel dead yet?"

I reached towards the puncture wounds in my neck and dipped my fingers in the pool of crimson gathering at my throat. Slowly and while never taking my eyes from Desmond's, I wrote on his forearm, smattering it with ruby droplets.

He looked down, surprised at the gesture.

Gleaming up at him was the word, NO.

"Funny…as you become more agitated, that heart of yours beats faster, pumping more blood through your veins as it seeps out of those lovely little marks I made not a while ago."

With some difficulty I managed a rough reply, "Death, death has always been at my doorstep. It's just been a matter of how I die."

Desmond released my hair, shoving me to the ground none to gently as he rose to his feet. From his pocket he retrieved a handkerchief and delicately dabbed his lips of the blood that lay crusting at the corner of his mouth.

"This war Severus-"

"Don't call me that!"

"Snape. This war asks a lot of you does it not?"

As the minutes ticked by I felt increasingly more faint. Any more questions and my life force would deplete itself entirely.

"Yes"

I weakly tried to tear a piece of fabric off my traveling cloak to fashion a bandage. Fumbling hands and skewed vision made my mission too clear to Desmond's acute hearing. He resumed his seat next to my side and grasped my chin.

"Do you realize the gravity of your position? Without a spy in this war what little order remains would turn to chaos."

Silence

"Of course, you deem yourself replaceable."

"I… I am not wrong in that statement."

"Dumbledore seems to think so."

My tongue tasted copper as blood started to fill my mouth. The end was indeed, very near.

"Leave me to die in peace."

"You haven't earned yourself that right."

Blood now spilled out the side of my mouth as it became impossible to talk. Any effort at words would result in a hideous gargling and despite my readiness to die I had no desire to suffocate on my own blood.

"Dear me. You are very close. It's a pity you have yet to avenge Lilly's death."

My eyes grew wide. He couldn't possibly know- that was for Dumbledore's ears only.

"Oh yes, I know! You can't forget that when vampires feed it is a very intimate process. I have seen the thoughts you shelter from everyone, the feelings you sequester deep within. And I know you have yet to secure young Harry Potter from the coming storm. In short, your death most assuredly means that Lilly will not greet you in the afterlife- not that you've had enough redemption to go there."

"Stop it." I muttered weakly, my eyes fluttering shut, before snapping them open in pure desperation.

"There is one thing you can do." Desmond's emphasis on the "one" did not go unnoted.

" I can siphon every last ounce of blood from your body, suck you dry, and toss your hollow corpse on the steps' of Hogwarts or… you and I can strike a deal."

"A deal with the Devil," I smiled grimly, "that pact has already been made."

"You can't escape this Snape. Dumbledore depends on you. Would you really let him down?"

"To evade this? Yes!"

"Your thoughtfulness is overwhelming."

Inch, by inch, my surroundings slipped away, as my black clouded my vision. All that I could see was Desmond's ghastly face sneering at my foolishness.

A fool. I would die a fool. A fool for not having done all that I could to make sure the war ended.

In that moment, I made up my mind to sacrifice all that I owned- mind, body, and soul.

Gasping I pronounced, "I surrender to you."


	5. Away I Go

A/N: After this chapter the pace will pick up considerably. I admit to having been out of writing for a while so hopefully I'm not _too_ rusty. Please review and give me your honest feedback. On a separate note: Snape's death and memory scene in the new Harry Potter movie are absolutely gut-wrenching. If you have yet to see it, I must implore you do so soon.

Enjoy!

_I surrender to you. _

And with those words, the hideous creature before me withdrew a small, slender knife with an ornate handle. In one fluid motion, the vampire created a long gash across his wrist. I watched as he pinched the edges of the wound, coaxing the blood from his veins to the surface.

And all too soon he raised his wrist to my mouth waiting expectantly. This was not a path I wished to pursue and all my life I'd been forced to submit to the will of others. In one last show of stubbornness I clamped my lips together.

A foolish move. Weak, hesitant, and at Desmond's total mercy, who was I to prevent myself from yielding to his desires? His hand gripped the back of my neck and forcefully brought my nose to the thin stream of blood winding down his arm. I sputtered as my nose came in contact with the vile fluid and accidentally inhaled it in a vain attempt to draw breath.

"Drink it!" Desmond demanded, "Just one taste."

I thought back to Dumbledore, my precarious position in the war, and ultimately of the boy who I had sworn to protect.

Repulsed by what I was about to do, my tongue darted out to catch a crimson droplet falling off the curve of the vampire's arm. My gag reflex kicked in, but I continued to trace the thin line of blood leading up to its source. I produced a weak glare in Desmond's direction, hoping he harbored some feelings of pity. He simply looked impatient and pushed me towards the cut once more.

After the initial intake, I latched on greedily. My strength returned with each frenzied indulgence and at some point I must have taken control and desperately pressed Desmond's arm to my mouth. No doubt I could feel the curse of the vampire's transforming my body, mutating my cells, and slowing my heartbeat, but I was too gone to care. All that mattered was the crimson liquid that was fueling my hunger.

Abruptly, the arm providing me sustenance was torn away. Its owner stood above me and extended a hand. Still in a state of blissful reverie I grasped it in my own and was heaved upwards. Not knowing, not caring to where Desmond was leading me, I followed.

It was when he deposited me on the steps of Hogwarts I came to full realization of what had just happened. I was now a creature of the night, both feared and shunned, all because I was too feeble to defend myself. If I was honest, I had just done Dumbledore a disservice by placing the care of a newly turned vampire in his hands. I should have died rather than cave in to Desmond's demands.

Without explanation or any advice, not even a mention of what he wanted in return for sparing my life – ha – Desmond sauntered down the steps and disappeared in the forest.

Even to me, my voice sounded pitiful "Desmond! DESMOND. Don't leave me to this fate." The Dark Lord and perhaps Dumbledore -at one time- were the only two who could reduce me to pleading. The vampire didn't turn back though; my cries were too small what with the tears in the flesh of my neck.

I slid down the stone wall, just outside the front doors of Hogwarts. Not thinking, I forced a dirtied finger down my throat in order to rid my stomach of the blood I'd just consumed. I retched over my shoulder, ridding myself of every last ounce. I would not acknowledge my monster status-at least not yet.

Somewhat relieved I teetered sideways and bonelessly sprawled out on the stone. And just as my eyes began to drift shut, finally giving my body reprieve, I caught the sight of oak laden doors, studded with iron open and ghastly purple robes sweep the floor.


	6. Resignation

A/N: I'm interested to see how many hits I get after this chapter. I am taking a calculated risk and will either gain or lose readers because of it. I obviously hope it's the former and well…you'll see. It's funny how inspiration comes from the most bizarre places. Interaction with Dumbledore will occur in the next chapter. He is after all our secondary character. You'll start to see where I was going with the summary.

I was unconscious, that much I could deduce. What was odd was the fact I was conscious of my inert state- a paradox if I ever heard one.

The darkness around me shifted and for a fleeting moment I thought I was stirring myself awake. Alas, the recesses of my mind produced a bare room before me with a single spotlight shining down the center eradicating my previous hope. Looking down, I saw I was outfitted in a plain, black shift, nothing near to the apparel I usually donned.

A shadow darted behind me. To the right of me. In front of me.

A whisper of wind lifted the hair off my shoulders and into my face. When it finally settled I could definitely sense a presence behind me- the shadow manifested into an actual being. Looking down at my palms, the veins jerked this way and that; I could feel the hot blood pumping through at a hasty pace. Faster and faster it coursed and I stared at my hands in horror as they swelled. Below the fragile skin was a rippling that threatened to tear open my skin.

"That'll be my blood acclimating itself to your body." A voice behind me spoke.

I spun quickly on my heel, sparing only a glance at the voice's owner before examining my hands with a morbid fascination once more. I needn't see the figure when I could identify simply by sound: those were Desmond's silken tones.

"Your body has shut itself off for the time being while your mind processes the new…uh…change." Desmond said delicately.

"And why are you here? My Occlumency barriers should have prevented you from entering." It was more of a rhetorical question. I knew the answer, but I feared actually hearing it.

"We are one in the same."

"We are NOT one in the same." I spat furiously.

Desmond only raised an eyebrow, which served to infuriate me more.

Trying again I said, "I don't go around attacking innocents and then force them to convert."

"You and I both know you are far from innocent."

"It is not up to you to deliver justice- to decide who deserves this wretched fate based on your own warped sense of morality. You've bedeviled me!"

Chest heaving with built up emotion I took a seat on the inhospitable stone.

With a cool delivery, worthy of the Dark Lord himself Desmond said, "I didn't come across you by accident. From the beginning I told you I sought knowledge, knowledge I could not get from just _anyone._"

"Most people just ask nicely. You ought to try it- you may find you get better results."

Desmond threw his head back and let out a rancorous laugh.

"Trust me, you won't give up this morsel of information without a bit of persuasion. You need me. You claim to operate without the help of anyone, but now your situation deems otherwise. Try to fight what you've become and I guarantee you'll fail. If you give a little, I'll give a little- you'll need the advice on how to cope. What do you say?"

"I don't agree to anything without knowing the terms."

"You will tell me what I wish to know on a certain topic, and I will grant you knowledge among the vampiric variety- how to feed, how to hunt-" I saw his lip quirk a bit, "how to convert."

"And which subject exactly do you wish to know more about? I don't agree to such obscure arrangements."

"Immortality."

Losing control I shouted, "You are a vampire, what need do you have for immortality!"

"I believe I am the one asking the questions. But since you probably won't yield…horcruxes."

My swollen hands fell uncomfortably at my sides- whereas they had previously been gesturing wildly. In a method designed to regain my decorum, I started to clench them into fists.

Desmond eyed my hands, "I wouldn't do that-the increase of blood is putting a strain on your epidermis. It'll tear."

Sure enough, the thin skin across my knuckles ripped open and I hissed in response.

The man-no beast- in front of me took the opportunity to speak up, "See, I've just offered a piece of advice. You're turn."

Sighing, I replied, "If I answer your questions, will I wake?"

He nodded, "In due time, yes. Reconstruction of your cells is nearly complete."

"And you swear to me, you'll help me adjust?"

Another nod.

"What do you want to know?"

Desmond had gotten what he wanted- myself delivered on a silver platter. He broke out into a grin not at all befitting his dark features.

"A horcrux…have you made one?" He cocked his head to the side and seemed to wait with baited breath.

I inhaled deeply; willing the tremors his question had prompted to cease and gave a soft response, "Yes."


	7. Secrets Kept

A/N: As promised, dialogue between Dumbledore and Severus. From this point onward Albus becomes more prevalent and Desmond's presence is fleeting. I hope I'm being original with this idea. Let me know your thoughts- I consider each and every one of them.

_A horcrux…have you made one?" He cocked his head to the side and seemed to wait with baited breath._

_I inhaled deeply; willing the tremors his question had prompted to cease and gave a soft response, "Yes."_

Desmond raised his chin and narrowed his eyes before saying, "That'll be all."

And with that he slowly dissolved to mist, my surroundings shortly following suit.

Something frigid trickled down my temple and I realized a cold compress had been applied to my forehead while I had been unconscious.

"Severus…"

Of course, _that _voice- that damn irritatingly, soporific voice.

"Dumbledore." I rasped.

"I hesitate to ask why I found my potion's professor on the entrance steps with blood covering nearly every inch of his body." I could detect a note of anger, no doubt referring to my carelessness.

My hands reflexively went to my collar and I drew it up higher around my neck, eager to disguise any evidence of the night's events.

Apparently, this did not go unnoticed for the headmaster shot me a subtle, questioning glance, but chose not to pursue the matter.

"I was attacked. There is nothing more to know. It was foolish of me to venture outside the castle with a known beast on the lose."

Dumbledore weakly smiled, "Leave it to you, Severus, to think you can take on any monster."

With not a trace of humor I added, "Have I not already?"

We stared silently at each other for a moment before Dumbledore conceded, "My apologies. I can imagine you're a bit worse for wear and I am doing nothing to help the fact. Here let me-" He motioned to help me off the sofa and that's when I became aware I was lying in his spare quarters.

With some difficulty I waived off his attempts to aid and stood up unsteadily. Aside from the lightheadedness and slight nausea, I otherwise felt fine- not even a bruise or sore muscle…

"Are you sure you're okay, Severus?" Dumbledore inquired once more, edging close to my side to assist if necessary.

"Quite. This-" I gestured towards my bloodied robes, "Can be easily remedied. Now, if you'll excuse me." I pushed past him and he turned around, nervously eyeing the area where Desmond had drank deeply from me. Confident I had adequately hidden the marks, I continued.

"We'll discuss this further when I'm sure you are well.. Goodnight, Severus."

I nodded, "Goodnight, Headmaster." And swept out the door.

A filthy string of curses left my lips and it didn't end until the door to my bedroom slammed shut. I had been lucky the students were currently observing "quiet hours", as coined by Albus, or else there would have been nothing to prevent one of the buggers from discovering me on the steps instead of Albus.

Now that all was said and down, I took a good look at the state I was in. My robes were crusted over with dried blood- whether it was Desmond's or mine, I could not say. I reached a hand up to my mouth and found the congealed substance coating my lips and chin. Lastly, I prodded the tender skin at my neck, feeling a modest sting when I touched the puncture marks, but it was by no means as painful as it should be.

Without thinking of just executing a simple scourgify, I made my way to the bathroom. Considering the cold, marble floor, I kicked my shoes off, savoring the feeling beneath my feet. I stood at the vanity and turned the knob and the water issued forth.

Conjuring a washcloth, I carefully siphoned off the blood plastered to my skin. When I finally looked up to the mirror above the sink, I shrank back startled. There was no image.

And that's when it began to fully sink in. Full of rage, frustration, and bitterness I shattered the mirror with my fist. Ruefully, I laughed- _no need for that item now_, I thought.

After having meticulously cleaned off all the blood from my skin prior to my fit- pools of it welled up by the knuckles of the hand I used to demolish the mirror. An overwhelming sense of hunger overtook me as I examined the crimson liquid and I knew it was an effect of the bloodlust.

I was hungry- and no food found in the kitchens would satiate me.


End file.
